I have written before about the impact that mental illness has on personal finances. The cost of medical care can be substantial, even with proper insurance. However there are other issues to watch out for when you deal with some form of mental illness.

Many times impulse spending is caused by the pleasure we receive from buying a material good. In my experience much of this came at a time that I was either depressed or my spouse was.

It has been shown that people with bipolar disorder can go on extreme spending sprees when in the midst of a manic phase. They may find pleasure in spending or they may not even realize they are adding a substantial amount to their debt. And when they do realize the damage is done, they may feel anxiety from how much they have spent.

Break the Cycle

This is a cycle that my wife and I endured for many years. One that I currently trying to break with mixed success. The main reason for the mixed success is the strain our finances have caused on our relationship and how we never have a civil conversation about money.

Even now, when we have eliminated so much of our debt, our conversations around money become heated. My spouse still hides even small purchases for fear of how I may react. I explain that I just need to account for it in our budget so that we do not need to move from a different category.

We have lived like this for years and it is difficult to repair the relationship we have with money. So how can you change this behavior?

Budget Planning

Start with having the conversation. Do this when things are not strained. Talk on a Friday night over a nice dinner without the kids. Make sure you arrange for the conversation to happen before you schedule the dinner. The last thing you want to do is surprise your spouse with a budget talk.

Use the conversation to forecast your budget. Depending on what budget tool you use you may need to adjust spending in different categories.

Come prepared with some numbers and not just have an abstract budget. If you need to buy school supplies estimate that ahead of time so you know that you can make changes to the budget easily. Communication is essential when dealing with money.

Plan For an Emergency

Most personal finance bloggers may not agree that paying off a spending spree due to mental illness is an emergency, however, sometimes it is unavoidable. Obviously, if you can curb the spending it would be easier but sometimes that is just not possible.

I recall a scene from the HBO show Big Love where Chloe Sevigny’s character is talking to Suze Orman and explaining that she has accrued over $50k in credit card debt without even letting Bill Paxton know. While this may be a fictional situation, it is a reality in many relationships. This is especially true where mental illness is an issue.

Having an emergency fund to pay down the debt and give you more security will help to control the debt. It is also essential to get the proper treatment and this in most cases cannot wait. An emergency fund could help with medication adjustments and emergency therapy appointments as well.

Avoid Anxiety Around Money

Financial instability can also lead to increased anxiety. Before paying down my debt I often would get anxious and just not care about what I was spending. It was easier to avoid the issue than to confront the problem.

I would avoid looking at my budget or my debt because I did not want to admit that I had an issue. If I needed to purchase something I would purchase and worry about the consequences later.

Sitting down to look at my entire financial picture was a true eye-opener. Seeing how I would just keep spending and adding to my debt made me sick to my stomach and now I will not repeat the same mistakes. I no longer feel anxious when dealing with money. However, as I mentioned in a different post I still need to get more comfortable with my current situation.

Take the Necessary Steps

If you are dealing with financial stress as well as mental illness there are many steps that you can take to avoid money problems.

• Have a budget
• Communicate that budget with your spouse on a regular basis
• Build up an emergency fund
• Seek proper treatment for the mental illness
• Don’t get angry if spending gets out of control
• Prevent or curb impulse spending
• Use cash if you cannot trust credit cards

The last one is recommended by a few personal finance bloggers including Dave Ramsey. His advice is to use the envelope method. Put cash for each budget item in an envelope and when the cash is gone you have spent all of your budget for that month. The envelope method is great for this type of situation, however, we were never far enough ahead to pull the money out of our budget at the beginning of the month.

Still a Long Way To Go

While we are much better than where we were a few years ago, we still have communication issues. We started to put together a calendar that not only has our bills for the month but also includes any planned spending: medication, therapy appointments, events that cost money, and other budget expenses that fall in the ‘wants’ category of our budget.

This method allows me to account for when these expenses will come out and not just budget for them. So far this has helped with our communication and has prevented an angry outburst for an unexpected expense. Whatever you choose to increase communication will be a benefit.